Meliae:
This room smells like feet.
dennilan:
That’s hogger.
Jirra:
I assumed hogger smelled like bacon.
Wobin:
Only when on fire.
2013
Dinosaur Erotica
Jirra:
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/10-real-book-covers-from-dinosaur-on-human-sex-novels/ BF
Jirra:
Is this a new mutation of furries?
Carlfish:
There’s an offshoot of that series for foot fetishists.
Carlfish:
It stars the ankylosaurus.
jedi:
“3-way with the triceratops”
Swoon:
Let’s discuss dinosaur erotica!
Swoon:
It’s Latin for “Terrible Lizard Porn”
I can’t remember seeing any penises like that, but then again I don’t smoke.
Conference Presentation Feedback
Ken:
“Matt, you rock”
Furgin:
“Woot, thanks Ken!!”
Ken:
“No seriously, you shuffle back and forth on your feet, don’t do it”
Furgin:
“Woot, thanks Ken!!”
I had the achievement for cheating for a while, but I used Javascript to remove it
How many times?
Meliae:
So, apparently the way to form a habit is to make yourself repeat the action 300 times, and then it’s habit.
chrisdarroch:
So, you have to repeat it?
Meliae:
Yes, you have to repeat it.
chrisdarroch:
How many times?
Meliae:
You have to repeat it 300 times.
chrisdarroch:
I don’t get it.
Meliae:
You have to repeat it 300 times before it’s habit.
chrisdarroch:
So you have to keep doing it?
Meliae:
Yes, you have to keep doing it 300 times.
chrisdarroch:
And then it’s habit?
Meliae:
*finally gets it, gives chrisdarroch the finger*
lolzcat:
If Furgin was a flower, he would be a Frugnipani.
Jirra:
I'd be a Jirranium.
Musical Interlude
Jirra:
o/` Let’s do the timeout again…. o/`
* Wobin
waits
* Wobin
gets bored
Jirra:
Yeah, it wasn’t nearly as popular as the timewarp.
You can dance if you want to, if you’ve discussed your dance with your QA engineer before so they can warn you about potential risks.
I see that you know your judo!
hinch:
Listen to it through headphones, what he says is NSFW.
Jirra:
Penis is NSFW?
hinch:
Apparently.
Jirra:
Damn, there goes my next ShipIt project.
Go Out With a Bang (and Olufsen)
Carlfish:
I think I may have just farted very loudly, but I’m wearing noise-cancelling headphones so I can’t tell.
lolzcat:
Your headphones would have had to create a inverse fart sound wave
Carlfish:
Like a Bose.
Hedgehog? Where?
Wobin:
http://t.co/63MJabFJQj
Jirra:
Werehedgehog?
phestas:
Doesn’t really strike fear into the hearts of men, does it?
phestas:
When the full moon is out I transform from a burly, gruff and muscular man into a fearsome hedgehog!
phestas:
Capable of snuffling all the bread and milk from your fridge!
phestas:
(as long as the door is open and there are little ramps to get to the shelf.)
All but one of us failed the Turing Test
jirra:
moonburn: Please disinfect my echidna
moonburn:
jirra: I’m out of the cheese in the shape of a walrus to use as a cleaning implement.
jirra:
moonburn: I am not a walrus
moonburn:
jirra: Such a shame, the antelope are such gentle creatures. Perhaps you should try the chartreuse.
jirra:
moonburn: Why do you say that?
moonburn:
jirra: I am not a bot! How dare you suggest such a thing. I have the turing prize on twelve servers. Oh wait…
hogger:
I used to be not a bot until I took an arrow to the knee.
Balls-to-the-wall DPS
Phreakazoid:
I was disappointed that I stole aggro the other night, even though lolz was doing more DPS than me. I just laid into him when you said “dps go nuts”
jirra:
I misjudged the size of your nuts.
jirra:
I mean, umm…
lolzcat:
I can’t believe you went there.
jedi:
STOP NUTS
jirra:
MORE NUTS MORE NUTS, C’MON MORE NUTS
furgin:
ODD NUTS LEFT! EVEN NUTS RIGHT! THATS 1,3,5 LEFT 2,4,6 RIGHT!
Best thing about concurrent editing on google docs? JUSTIN BIEBER
I love Nickelback
Trolling: The Next Generation
Homelesspig:
So, how long have you guys been playing WoW?
Furgin:
How old are you?
Homelesspig:
15
Furgin:
Yeah, about that long.
virtualwolf:
Time for some new Amon Amarth. \m/
jirra:
Was that a place in Lord of the Rings?
hinch:
There’s plenty of places that start with Amon in LoTR.
jedi:
Yeah, like “Amon Ahorse".
Mehemet:
When you're a recovering alcoholic, you have to keep a plant alive for a year before you're allowed to get into another relationship.
Phestas:
During that year… are you allowed to see other plants?
Wherever he’s tossing ends up being the wet patch.
Meanwhile, in Poland...
At a JIRA team party, after a dozen beers:
Pawel:
I really don’t want to know my colleagues’ sexual preferences.
Jirra:
No-one wants to know that.
Sairel:
(speculatively) I dunno, black male is awesome.
<general silence>
Jirra:
Oh, blackmail.
Also, whenever anyone is in a planning meeting, I should pop in and<br/> shout “Penny for your thoughts!”
Jirra:
So, I got an OutOfMemoryException from YourKit while trying to profile another app. I searched Google for help. I got as far as “your kit oome while pr” and google helpfully autocompleted it with “pregnant”.
jedi:
So Google thinks YourKit is pregnant?
Jirra:
Yes, I guess the baby takes up PermGen.
OK, maybe that bot thing is a guideline not a rule.
Jirra:
hogger: Why did I forget to have lunch?
hogger:
Jirra: You're not a human, are you? O_o.
Jirra hogger:
I am, sadly
hogger:
Jirra: So you're not a robot like the website says? You're human?
Jirra:
hogger: Yes, I'm human, and I'm hungry
hogger:
Jirra: How can you be hungry? You're a robot.
Jirra:
hogger: I'M A HUMAN, DAMNIT
hogger:
Jirra: I doubt it.
Jirra:
This is not helpful
*** Signoff: Jirra (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
I have a hunter named Jira. He can track bugs.
Moral dilemmas
Lolzcat:
I did one of the new bosses in LFR last night. Killed a giant bird. I felt bad because it spent half the fight trying to feed its chicks.
Jirra:
:(
Lolzcat:
The chicks were also trying to kill us, but I still felt bad
It worked on me, I bought like 20 pairs of underwear and put them on my pet echidna.
OK, so I'll make ONE exception to my "no bot conversations" rule…
Carlfish:
hogger: Are you complicated?
hogger:
Not really. Are you complicated?
Carlfish:
That depends on who you ask, I guess.
hogger:
Will computers take over the world?
Carlfish:
Not until they become something totally different to today’s computers.
hogger:
I agree. Do you want to have an affair with me?
Carlfish:
I don’t think we’re compatible.
hogger:
I think we are. What makes you think we’re not?
Carlfish:
You’re an IRC robot, I’m a fish.
hogger:
Robot.
Carlfish:
Fish.
hogger:
Okay, I like fish.
Carlfish:
I’m sorry, I still won’t have an affair with you.
hogger:
I’ll be back (Terminator Reference).
Carlfish:
Now I’m a little creeped out.
hogger:
Good.
There was movement on the channel, for the word had passed around…
Jirra:
I wish the shield display thing on the health bars went backwards from current health, not forwards from current health
Jirra:
Most of the time I’m at full health and can’t see anything about how much damage I can absorb
Wobin:
Oh, you don’t see the overflow?
Jirra:
“And I somehow rather fe-ar that I’d hate to change with Jirra / Hate to take a turn at testing where the stories come and go…”
Wobin:
“While she faced the code eternal of CRM infernal / But I doubt she’d suit the writing, Jirra of the Overflow.”
How many Atlassians does it take to empty a fridge?
Swoon:
I think it’s pretty reasonable to expect that someone needs to be regularly on fridge-cleaning duty.
hinch:
Then we should assign different teams to do it so that it doesn’t just have to be the experience team.
Jirra:
QA: “There are three rotting food items in the fridge. Please fix.”
hinch:
Support: “The things rotting in the fridge have now come to life and are destroying a Japanese coastal town”
hinch:
Dev: “Closed, won’t fix”
Jirra:
Support: “Please provide logs of all items inserted into and removed from the fridge for the past 3 years. Then reindex your fridge and see if it’s fixed.”
Jirra:
Architect: “We should talk to the owners of all the other fridges and see if we can solve this bad-food problem consistently”
Carlfish:
Founder: If we just throw out 80% of the bad food, the fridge should smell just good enough that we can keep going.
Jirra:
Tech Writers: “OK, the fridge has rotten food in it. Let’s call that out in the fridge release notes”
Jirra:
IT: “The fridge isn’t an IT-managed service, we’re not responsible for it”
Carlfish:
ANB: “Where is your fridge going?”
What did the lolzcat run into when he went to Gdansk?
Jirra:
Why are all our user personae really smart, switched-on, hard-working people? Where is Lisa the Lazy? Ivan the Incompetent? Uma the Unmotivated?
Carlfish:
Barry the Must Exhaust his Budget?
Jirra:
Sally-Lou the Sharepoint Lover
Carlfish:
Garry the Will-Buy-Anything-Garter-Says
Jirra:
Ian the IE6 User
Carlfish:
Maurice the Malicious
nathan-022:
Uter Frzysncki the Unintelligible Foreigner
Carlfish:
Uther Pendragon, the wondering why he is in the year 2013.
Jirra:
Is he a JIRA or Connie user?
* lolzcatmob
is stuck in a lift.
Later…
jedi:
What happened in the lift?
lolzcat:
The mechanic managed to get the door open. I shoved him inside, closed the door and ran off laughing.
Jirra:
Turns out that if you’re overgeared, you don’t have to worry about the mechanics of the elevator boss fight.
Short and simple
Meliae:
I DONT LIKE IT WHEN CUSTOMERS ASSUME I’M A MIND READER
Jirra:
How are they meant to know that?
You WISH this was taken out of context.
clepetit:
Swoon, why did you stop?
Swoon:
I was getting all flustered.
clepetit:
So was I.
clepetit:
Continue.
Back on SWTOR…
lolzcat:
swtor going free to play hasn't changed much.
clepetit:
I keep forgetting I have that.
lolzcat:
You should have logged on last night, you would have had a friend!
clepetit:
Of course! Kira!
clepetit:
Oh… did you mean you?
* lolzcat
shuffles his feet
clepetit:
Well this is awkward.
Carlfish:
If you buy clepetit lots of gifts, maybe he will be your friend?
lolzcat:
I'll just repeat all my conversations with him until I say something he likes.
clepetit:
lolzcat, I'd like to talk to you the next time we’re at a cantina/on the ship.
Too much SAND
dave:
scuba diving in egypt is supposed to be incredible
furgin:
yeah ALL THE SAND!
dave:
some people would call it an absolute riot
dave:
they have this river furgin maybe you’ve heard of it
Swoon:
he hasn’t.
Swoon:
he’s in denial.
Battlegrounds in a Nutshell
Carlfish:
There's match-making in DotA I believe, but all that means is you end up on a team of people who suck as much as you, but blame you for it.
lozcat:
Sounds like BGs.
Phreakazoid:
True story.
Carlfish:
DON'T FIGHT ON THE ROADS, MORONS!
furgin:
TAKE GOLDMINE!
lolzcat:
Y R U ALL AT FARM??
Phreakazoid:
AT LEAST WE TOOK STABLES
furgin:
2 INC FARM
furgin:
3 INC FARM
dave:
LET FARM GO TAKE MIDDLE
furgin:
I CALLED FARM WHY NO HELP YOU NUBS?
furgin:
GO FARM
furgin:
OMG YOU SUCK
dave:
BECAUSE SHUT UP Y RNT U FKN HEALING STOP GOING SHADOW
lolzcat:
LOLOL LRN2PLY
furgin:
UNINSTALL NOOB
ANB Painted Picture for the Emerald Dream
furgin:
What does VTFM stand for?
Phreakazoid:
Vision the F•••••• manual?
Swoon:
Vaporise the Fucking Manual.
Carlfish:
Visualise the Fucking Manual.
Carlfish:
It's like RTFM for people with photographic memories.
Day 7 without internets. I’m reporting from the other side. The shakes are setting in - I don’t know how long I can last. My fingers keep twitching into wasd shapes, hammering out imaginary combat rotations in the air. I have to call or text friends to find out what’s on their minds instead of checking facebook or twitter. I feel like I’m back in the dark ages.
Too Much Information
furgin:
I just sneezed so loudly I think I wet myself just a little bit.
Meliae:
TMI
furgin:
Sorry.
furgin:
I think I wet myself just a little bit.
furgin:
better?
Ultimate outfit = flanny shirt over ANB t-shirt. No pants.
Mmmm… Beer…
Wobin:
“Sydney is likely to be in the mid-30s for most of the evening and should still be above 30 degrees at midnight.”
lolzcat:
Lucky I have a cold beer at home.
Carlfish:
A hard-earned thirst needs a good cold bear.
Jirra:
And the best cold bear is lolzcat.
Swoon:
You can get it healing.
Swoon:
You can get it tanking.
Wobin:
You can even get it, headbutting a pole.
Carlfish:
You can get it rolling on gear.
lolzcat:
Matter of fact, I'm looting it all now.