SMH headline: “Howard Rejected by ICC”. I guess his gearscore wasn’t high enough.
June 2010
dennilan:
Does anyone have a neuraliser? I need to wipe about three minutes.
Carlfish:
File an issue with IT. Someone will be around with a mallet.
jirra:
I've turned off the ads in JIRA and now there's no way to turn them back on. :(
dennilan:
JIRA has ads?
jirra:
It will.
Carlfish:
GROW YOUR BUG COUNT!
dennilan:
JIRONY. PLAY DISCREETLY NOW!
Deadheart wrote on Moonburn’s wall: I interrupted that!
jirra:
I'm testing some FishEye stuff and raising bugs in SPAC. The project key is FISH, so this is probably the right place to raise bugs against Carl too.
Carlfish:
I don't follow that project so I wouldn't respond to any bugs. The best place to file bugs against me is with Donna.
jirra:
Is she able to fix them?
Carlfish:
On occasion.
Words that are only words for Americans aren’t words at all.
Yeah, I played X-Wing. I wasn’t very good at it actually.
+/- 2%
Furgin:
82% of all survey results are made up on the spot.
Swoon:
75% of people know that.
Furgin:
50% of them don't.
Swoon:
I think you're only 20% correct there, Furgin.
Furgin:
I agree with 3.4% of what you're saying
jirra:
You people are crazy.
Furgin:
Only 9% crazy.
I think I remember this conversation from primary school…
Swoon:
I really wanted to have a gay time, but I suppose a paddle pop will do
jedi:
You can’t have a gay time alone
jedi:
It says so on the packet
Swoon:
you can
Swoon:
it’s just ‘hard’
WobWork:
I propose a ‘kill switch’ for americans
WobWork:
it’s a 50 megatonne EMP placed in the middle of America
virtualwolf:
I’d say move it closer to the south.
jedi:
wouldn’t that only work if americans were robots?
virtualwolf:
The midwest is weird but harmless, and all the normal people are on either coast.
virtualwolf:
There’s really nothing redeeming about the American South whatsoever.
dennilan:
I keep trying to come up with examples to contradict you, but I can’t
dennilan:
:/
Boobies > boobless
Using Flash to play video is like using a curling iron as a foot warmer. It was never really meant to do it, but it kinda works.
Plz doesnt mean please. It means ‘Hurry up, noob’.
Generally, if people justify the use of ‘plz’ because it’s shorter than 'please’, I quite happily justify 'no’ because it’s shorter than 'yes’.
Panties is one of those creepy words that only creepy old guys in ice-cream vans that cruise around public parks use
It's All Pants
Carlfish:
SMH article summary of the day: “Chatroulette, the infamous voyeuristic video chat site, is investigating ways of blocking out male genitals as the website battles a sharp decline in visitor numbers.”
jirra:
They don't get female genitals on there? Or they're not a problem?
jedi:
They're probably more of a solution than a problem.
Swoon:
Or maybe genital-recognition software is more advanced for men.
Carlfish:
The tech industry is often accused of being phallocentric.
jedi:
In order to detect them, just convert the video stream to ascii and check for any occurrences of 8===D
Carlfish:
But what if you _are_ a smiling giraffe?
jirra:
If so, what are you smiling about? Are your genitals covered?
Carlfish:
Levi's Law. On the Internet, any conversation will eventually return to the subject of pants.
jirra:
They just need a sign on the login screen - ARE YOU WEARING PANTS?
Carlfish:
ARE YOU PLANNING ON CONTINUING TO WEAR PANTS?
Carlfish:
REALLY?
Carlfish:
THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON THIS SITE?
*** denni joined the chat room.
* virtualwolf
decapitates denni.
virtualwolf:
I mean, hi.
virtualwolf:
The keys are like right next to each other.
denni:
greetings all!
* denni
decapitates virtualwolf
denni:
yeah, weird about the key locations, hey!
Black Holes #2
Swoon:
“New in Universe 1.1: massive sinks that consume all matter.”
Carlfish:
I can imagine Steve Jobs introducing that at the developer conference.
Carlfish:
“Now this is something you're going to love. Remember last year when I introduced gravity? Well that got our brilliant engineers thinking what else you could do with it…”
Carlfish:
“Well today I am proud to introduce… iSingularity.”
WobWork:
That could equally be a Google presentation.
WobWork:
“We at Google have decided to release Gravity to the wider world. We've made it Open Source, cause we're nice like that”
jirra:
Good thing the Universe wasn't made by Blizzard, it would shut down every Tuesday.
Black Holes #1
Swoon:
The universe has bugs. You think black holes are a feature?
denni:
*I* think black holes are a feature.
Swoon:
“New in Universe 1.1: massive sinks that consume all matter.”
denni:
They're fricking awesome!
jirra:
The whole nature of light has the feeling of a piece of code that started off with one idea and then a bunch of people hacked it.
Swoon:
private const String SPEED_OF_LIGHT = "2.9 x 10^8 ms/s" // HACK: DO NOT CHANGE THIS VALUE; EVERYTHING BREAKS.
Yoghsplosion
Furgin:
ffs do they pressurise these yoghurts? i just opened it and it exploded all over my lap
Lolzcat:
i don’t think you should eat it
Furgin:
i already ate it
Furgin:
even the bits on my lap
Lolzcat:
apart from the fact that it’s all over your pants, exploding yoghurt usually means it’s gone off
Furgin:
oh there is some on my keyboard.. win!
* Lolzcat
is hoping the furgin is not licking his keyboard.
Furgin:
vdfgbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Furgin:
what ?
Baaaaa
Carlfish:
It’d be cool if you could cast [Polymorph] on yourself.
Carlfish:
“Hey, I came up here to talk to Charles…” “Where is he, and why is there a sheep at his desk?”
Carlfish:
Not to be attempted in New Zealand, for obvious reasons.
Lolzcat:
“Hey, I came up here to talk to Charles…” “Where is he, and why… hello there…”
moonburn:
How do I check what gender I am?
WobWork:
look in your pants?
moonburn:
I’m not wearing any.
WobWork:
Technically, it should be self evident then
Swoon:
Say yes, then when it all falls over into a tin of custard he’ll come back to Studio
jedi:
I hate it when things call into a tin of custard
* Swoon
picks up the tin of custard and shouts into it
Swoon:
“Hello? Hello?”
jedi:
anything is possible in IRC!
* jedi
throws a yacht around the room
* jirra
inflates a hippopotamus
* virtualwolf
ducks the airborne yacht.
* lolzcat
rolls a competent Death Knight.
jedi:
hahaha, lolzcat that’s like saying you made a square circle
lolzcat:
anything is possible
jedi:
WHO IS THE NOOB
jedi:
WHO SETS OFF THE ALARM
jedi:
EVERY MORNING
virtualwolf:
Seriously! They need a punch right in the sarcophagus.
Swoon:
A kick in the King Tuts.
I wouldn’t trust it as far as I could comfortably spit a rat.
jedi:
dance dance ice crown citadel
lolzcat:
I want to play WoW with a dance mat
jedi:
i'd have to start off on beginner mode... smite, smite-smite-smite,
smite, smite-smite
If more WoW players used the convenience of nappies, we wouldn’t have to wait for ‘brb bio’ all the time.
I don’t have a WoW addiction, any more than I have a breathing addiction.
|:( means “I am displeased with my unibrow.”
/cast [Random Spell]
Carlfish:
Most interesting line so far, from the most stressful bit of the Festergut fight after lolz died:
Carlfish:
22:55:02 Rikitikitavi casts Levitate on Atlassia
Carlfish:
300ms later it was dispelled by a tick of pungent blight.
Lolzcat:
fly away atlassia! save yourself!
Breaking the Ice
Lolzcat:
The ice box in the fridge behind mb is literally a box full of ice
Lolzcat:
There’s no room to put anything in it
Moonburn:
Lolzcat: not quite
Moonburn:
there is an entire tray of mint slices frozen for all eternity as well
Jedi:
i thought they were emblems of frost
My favourite dev quote for the day: “Yeah, so, I’m just going to resolve that issue as ‘No fucking clue’”.
How HR might convince me to do more interviews over Skype.
Dennilan:
Gah! We're using Maven the Maven Way and still hitting problems.
Carlfish:
Maven Way. Isn't that near the corner of Masochism Ave. and the You're Fucked Highway?
Now I’m using XChat. Which, because it’s cross-platform, is battleship-grey ugly.
Fully Voiced
WobWork:
actually, one of the newer MMOs, I think it’s the 40K one, is going to have full voiced npcs
Furgin:
WobWork: no thats going to be swtor
WobWork:
that’s probably it
Lolzcat:
the new star wars mmo will be fully voiced
Lolzcat:
oh furgs just said that
Jirra:
I’ve heard there’s some MMO coming out soon that will be fully voiced, too.
Lolzcat:
no way!
Lolzcat:
trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzL2qUxuhns
Jirra:
Is the trailer fully voiced?
Carlfish:
I’ve heard there’s this massively multiplayer game where everyone is voiced.
Furgin:
like the mmo ?
Denni:
Wow! There’s a new Star Wars MMO coming out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzL2qUxuhns
Denni:
Apparently it’s fully voiced.
Denni:
Well, the trailer is, anyway
* Lolzcat
is ignoring you all.
Afternoon nap time
Virtualwolf:
And there’s the mid-afternoon “Blaaarrrggghhhhh” again, right on schedule.
ChrisLePetit:
having trouble reading the screen
ChrisLePetit:
turns out
ChrisLePetit:
eyes were closed
Rezplz
[21:23:09.821] Lolzcat casts Rebirth on Furgin
[21:23:13.570] Lady Deathwhisper Death and Decay Furgin 3928
[21:23:14.599] Lady Deathwhisper Death and Decay Furgin 2488 (O: 1440)
[21:23:14.801] Furgin dies
New hunter spell in Cataclysm. [Feign Interest]
for (var elephant in herd) { elephant.explode(); }
Tastes like Chicken
Carlfish:
From the “why does this have a wikipedia entry?” department: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste_like_chicken
Furgin:
I’d like to edit the list and add “Chicken”
Carlfish:
And put a [Citation Needed] link next to it.
Dwarves don’t eatface. They eatkneecap.
“This permission grants the wielder the ability to …” arg WoW is affecting my customer replies
I just wish I hadn’t died to an attack called “Ferocious Butt”.
It looks like someone cleaned it with a cheeseburger
Furgin:
I was in a party of 5 with 4 girls (me being the only non girl if that wasnt obvious)
Furgin:
we only just did CoT timed because they kept stopping to look in the shop windows
* Jirra
resists the urge to set fire to Furgs, rain an AoE on him then steal his soul and use it to make gobstoppers.
Lolzcat:
i never realised that there were vendors in CoS
Furgin:
Lolzcat: girls can find shoe shops anywhere
* Furgin
was kicked by Jirra
Jedi:
that url tries to fit in so much
jirra:
So it’s a story about… erm… a half-man-half-woman tennis player… that has siblings… who saw some strangers fall over?
Swoon:
“I get my news by reading search-optimised URLs”
ChrisLePetit:
I need a beer and a nap and a teleport home.
ChrisLePetit:
I'm pretty annoyed, my iPad does support teleporting home
WobWork:
but you need a 3G network?
ChriLePetit:
we have wifi here, that should work.
Carlfish:
Ask Donna to open a portal. You might have to tip her five gold though.
WobWork:
Just hearth. Jeez.
Carlfish:
I accidentally left my hearthstone in the bank.
jirra:
Ask Alyce for a new one
Carlfish:
But then I'll be hearthing to the office. Who wants that?